My child does not listen!
I think many parents will answer yes to that question!
Having a quality conversation with our kids can be quite challenging. Often it feels like the kids are just not paying attention … doesn’t it?
Want to know the root of this problem
ineffective parent-child communication …
There is good news though:
the problem can easily be solved. Few families have mastered the art of good parent-child communication, but as a principal, we can all learn to communicate better.
And, in today’s post, we discuss 6 building blocks to do just that:
help you improve your parent-child communication
- How to raise a brilliant child with 8 powerful actions
- 2 Amazing learning style activities to do with your kids right now
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Time to unravel parent-child communication problems
The most common difficulties include:
Parents and children express themselves differently
Speaking from the heart or the brain
Grownups often over think their statements. Kids, on the other hand, tend to say whatever comes to mind. This is the reason why they are often more honest about their feelings than we are …
To help kids explore their emotions use big emotion games
- like this great one
Communication skills can also be improved:
- playing games to help kids think about their feelings and
- how to express themselves
- To help you out, I can highly recommend this family game.
How to improve parent-child communication
You can start to converse more easily with your kids today by:
- understanding the problems mentioned above and
- implementing the 6 valuable building blocks below
Want to know the best part:
Doing this will vastly improve your ability to understand your child and you will get them to really listen to what you are saying.
And, it gets even better:
Good parent-child communication skills will strengthen your family bond for life.
Check out the popular series: That One Thing every awesome parent should know
The 6 building blocks to stress-free parent-child communication
Implement these building blocks today:
and be on your way to having stress-free conversations with your child. Magic!
Building block nr. 1 to
A great way to start any conversation:
be down on a child’s level and make direct eye contact with them.
Ask them to also look you in the eye, to build mutual respect.
Another great tip:
- hold their hands to keep their attention and
- help them focus on what you are saying
You will be amazed at the difference this little gesture makes. It will help you improve your parent-child communication skills from the get-go.
Give it a try today!
Building block nr. 2 to
Leave whatever you are busy with and give our kids our full attention when they initiate dialogue.
The most difficult part is often:
- to resist the urge to answer our phones …
- or finish watching our favorite TV show over their shoulders …
Aren’t we all guilty of this … ?
By giving them our undivided attention:
- we let them know that the conversation is important to us and
- we truly care about what they are saying
They will automatically respect our words more at the same time. Give it a try …
Building block nr. 3 to
We need to encourage our kids daily. Yes, daily!
Why encourage our kids?
Our encouragement and praise:
- reassures them
- motivates them
- improves their cooperation
- helps to earn their respect and
- boosts their self-esteem
Tips on how to encourage our kids:
- descriptive and
The power of positivity
It is very important to use positive statements such as:
- it would be great if you can put your shoes away or
- it’s really great when those shoes find their way into the cupboard …
As opposed to:
- you always forget your shoes in the corridor or
- if I trip over your shoes again, they will end up in the rubbish bin …
Can you see the difference?
Make a mental note:
- think before you speak and
- change your requests to be constructive rather than judging
You won’t believe how easily those shoes get put away without a fight.
Keep it short and sweet
Try to make your request short and direct. Giving a lecture has little impact on changing behavior. Saying things that are hurtful rarely motivates a child to take action.
Beware of bribery
We must always resist bribing our children to get things done.
You might be wondering:
How do I get them to do things then?
And the simple answer is:
Propose an appropriate award when they complete a task.
You want to praise them for doing something to the best of their ability
Yes, that’s it!
Not the perfect result, but simply their effort.
An example to demonstrate:
When your kids try to organize their sock drawer don’t judge the result, encourage the effort. Although imperfect, their effort is much more valuable than no attempt whatsoever. And, when they don’t get our approval for their attempt, they will probably never try again.
How not to address our kids:
- with blame
- whilst comparing
- lowers their self-esteem
- makes them unsure of themselves
- makes them feel unworthy and
- grows feelings of quilt
Refrain from reprimanding kids in the company of friends or siblings. Rather have personal conversations when you and your child are alone.
The discussion and end result:
- will be way more effective when done one-on-one and
- without distraction
Read more about this in the 7 Simple Strategies to be an Awesome Parent post.
Building block nr. 4 to
It is very important to allow everyone in the family:
- to say how they feel about decisions that impact on you all collectively
- for example when planning family outings or holidays
Family activity ideas
Easily teach kids to voice their feelings and opinions:
teach whilst having fun
- enjoy some of the 101 family happiness and kindness hacks together
- play family games helping them to express their emotions
- do learning styles activities
solve problems together
- jointly make family plans
- this helps them know we respect their opinions
- give them the opportunity to suggest a plan of action
Remember to never dismiss your child’s opinion. Dismissal will ultimately result in them:
- contributing less to conversations and
- not sharing their thoughts
support sharing of personal opinions
It is important for kids to know and understand that it is all right to disagree at times. And, voice their emotions and feelings.
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Building block nr. 5 to
Both their and our body language speak volumes. Kids will often tell us way more by means of body language than actual words. Make a real effort to read the message behind their words.
Always let your words and body language say the same thing, this is the essence of effective parent-child communication. Always be affectionate and friendly when having a personal discussion.
This is important to:
- make them feel comfortable to share personal issues with us and
- initiate important conversations
It really works and you will love it!
Building block nr. 6 to
Why does my child not listen?
Could it be:
That they do not understand …
We have to make sure that our children comprehend what we are saying or asking. Especially when we are giving instructions that we expect them to follow.
How to do that easily:
have them repeat our requests. Similarly, by repeating their opinions and requests:
- we show them we understand and
- appreciate their feelings and opinions
Parent-child communication summary
Good parent-child communication can be challenging at times, but it remains the foundation of a lasting parent-child relationship.
The benefits of effective parent-child communication
- a positive impact on your day-to-day family life
- positive social interaction
- with friends and
- teachers at school
By acquiring effective communication skills from us:
- our children will develop confidence in speaking about their ideas and feelings, no matter the situation
- and appreciate the importance of listening when others are speaking and
- respect different views and opinions.
6 Building blocks to effective parent-child communication overview
- be on the same level and make eye contact
- give your undivided attention
- be positive, no blaming or bribing
- voice opinions and feeling
- focus on body language
- repeat each other messages
Incorporate these six building blocks into your family life today:
and let conversation time be something you and your children look forward to.
Adore your kids for who they are and not what they do.
Do not let a single day pass without you telling them:
you are proud of them and love them to the moon and back!
Please leave a comment below
- and tell me how easily you converse with your child and
- the communication skills that work for you and those that don’t
More parent-child communication information
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